By definition, vulnerability is the process of opening yourself up to potential physical or emotional harm. Since Brené Brown is our society's queen of vulnerability she also defines vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." To be fair, reading either of these definitions, it's natural that the first thing that comes to your mind is "why would anyone willingly choose to do this?!" That's why I'm here. We've all been vulnerable at some point in our lives, and we often open ourselves up to the possibility of harm in the hopes that we get something better out of it. Vulnerability can look like being the first to say "I love you," sharing your needs, or investing in a relationship that may or may not work out. All of these involve you being vulnerable and are done in the hopes that something better comes out if it.
When we incorporate more moments of vulnerability, our lives can change.
Five Benefits of Vulnerability:
1. Vulnerability Helps With Self-Awareness
In order to be vulnerable, you have to be able to know what your wants, needs, and feelings are, and it requires a level of honestly about knowing your real self. This in turn can result in a greater sense of self-awareness.
Improvement in self-awareness creates quite the domino effect in your life and can in turn create positive changes in your overall well-being, better communication, more moments of happiness, and improved relationships.
2. Vulnerability Improves Your Self-Worth
There is something so freeing about acknowledging and believing your vulnerability to be valid and worthy, and also accepting that the outcome is out of your control. It is a reminder that you are human.
When you accept yourself as you are, you're sending the message that your emotions, needs, and boundaries matter enough to share them. There is no shame in your vulnerability. It becomes fiercely and authentically you and I can't imagine a more beautiful place to land.
At the end of the day vulnerability is really about the willingness to truly be yourself – to open up a side of yourself that is not hidden behind your defences. As Brené Brown put it, “Vulnerability is about having the courage to show up and be seen.”
3. Vulnerability Helps You Find "Your People"
When you're vulnerable with others, you're putting yourself at risk of others not responding in the way that you need them to. It's rightfully scary which might make you adapt yourself to fit in instead of honouring your authentic self. You might do this to avoid being rejected for being who you are. Although avoiding rejection in the moment is worthwhile, in the long-run it just results in you living inauthentically.
Instead, try exploring what it would be like to incorporate more vulnerable moments with the people in your life. By allowing yourself to express your needs and be your true self, you're quicker to find out who your people are. It is those that can honour and accept you as your authentic self that deserve to be in your inner circle.
4. Vulnerability Fosters Greater Connections
Vulnerability is core to connection. While most of us know we want to have close connections, we often resist vulnerability, which is the very trait that makes true connection possible.
There can be no intimacy, without vulnerability, if you cant be honest with how you feel or what your needs are you won't experience the depth of intimacy and connection.
5. Vulnerability Strengthens Your Boundaries
As it becomes clear with each benefit, vulnerability requires you to deem your needs, wants, and feelings as valid and worthy enough to express regardless of the response of those listening.
As you become more comfortable with this concept, your boundaries become more clear and you gain a better understanding of what boundaries are flexible vs which boundaries need to be firm.